The Thought Diet

Whenever you are in the throws of a negative feeling emotion all you have to do to make a shift, which can often be difficult to do, is to ask yourself three things: What are focused on (what is your subject), how do you feel about what you are focused on (what is your emotion) and why do you feel the way you feel (what are you making your subject mean)?

It helps to understand that you feel the way you do not because what you are observing or experiencing is causing you to feel that way but, rather, it is your interpretation about your subject matter that is causing your emotion. Your emotion is nothing more than your indicator that you are looking at your subject in a limited way.

The first question, what are you focused on (what is your subject), is to help you identify exactly what it is you have you attention on. The next question, how are you feeling about you subject (what is your emotion), is to help you identify where you are in regard to your interpretation of this subject. The lower the emotion the lesser the perspective about this subject is going to be. Your emotion is the indicator of the level of your interpretation of the subject. The last question, why do you feel the way you do about your subject, is to help you identify the thoughts that you have about this subject that are at the source of your negative experience.

Once you understand the thoughts that are causing you to feel the way you do about the thing you thought was causing you to feel bad you have something to work with. Rather than trying to change the outside circumstance with a lot of force and effort, you can change the thoughts you have surrounding this subject. By doing that you offer higher levels of thought that would produce higher and more efficient actions and solutions to your “problem.” Not to mention, you feel better quicker.

By acknowledging that you feel the way you do because of your thoughts rather than the outside world causing you to feel that way you because more autonomous–you put your well being back in your own hands. And when you manage the thing at the center of your world (your thoughts – without them you have no experience to interpret and you would have no creativity to provide solutions to problems nor would you have any desire to take actions in life) you not only make yourself happy but you are a more powerful human being that has the ability not to just change the things in your immediate life but you can start to have a greater effect on the world around you.

As I mentioned in my previous post, when I ask someone what they hope to take away from out time together they often tell me what they don’t want rather than what they DO want. They tell me how they want to be out of pain, lose their stomach fat, or stop some bad habit (whether that is thinking related or a physical habit like smoking). They rarely tell me what they want as the end result. However, every now and again I do get an answer that seems to be somewhere in the middle – like “I want to be more comfortable” or “I want more success” or “I want to be in better shape” or “I want to think better thoughts.” These types of answers intially appear to positive goals until I ask one of two questions, which usually tells me whether they are thinking negatively or positively about what they want.

One question I ask after an answer like “I want to be in better shape” is “why do you want to be in better shape?” The answer I get could be negative, like “because I am out of shape.” Or it could be positive, like “I like where I am at an I want more of it.” If I get the first answer I usually follow up with “if you were not in such bad shape what shape would you be in?” or “where would your body be if it was not in bad shape?” This is usually all it takes to help the person lay down an idea and image of what they really do want.

I will also ask that last question first if I felt they were already at peace with where they are. If they said they want to be in better shape I might say “if you were in better shaper what would that be like/feel like/look like (etc.)?”

The point here is that sometimes even when we think we know what we want we still have a glimmer of focus on where we are. We often want what we want because of where we are. If you could make peace with where you are and turn your focus specifically on where you want to be then you would fast on your way to achieving that goal as there would be little in your way to success. Having any focus or attention on where you are in a negative way tends to keep you there.

Remember, you get what you give you attention to. If you are focused on what you don’t want or don’t like in any way, it is hard to get something different. The great thing about knowing what you don’t want is that it helps you to determine what is important to you. It also helps you to determine a new specific outcome – a new solution to a problem. This is how we as humans expand and grow. Without the problems we wouldn’t expand to the solutions. It’s just a matter of turning your attention away from the problem and learning what it is this problem has caused you to now want.

Once I help someone understand WHAT they truly want – meaning, they understand what they want, not what they don’t want – I ask them WHY they want it. Almost every single time the answer is something superficial. And when I say superficial I mean something that does not have much emotion or depth to it. What you want you want for the feeling you think it will bring you when you have it. Unfortunately, most people don’t acknowledge this level of it – they think they want what they want for the having of the physical thing only. They usually start out not wanting to be where they are because they think where they are is what is causing them to feel bad. So when they do figure out what it is that the contrast (the thing they didn’t want) has helped them to want, they are thinking that it is this thing that will change how they feel.

What most people don’t realize is that they are simply using this external stuff (this includes their body) as their excuse to either feel good or their excuse to feel bad (with the important things – many things we observ in our experience don’t elicit much emotion) . We place a lot of responsibility in the outside world – people, things, our bodies, etc. But the reality is, we want what we want for the feeling we think it would provide for us when we have it but in order to have it you have to be at that level of feeling first.

So, if you can figure out WHY you really want what you want – meaning, you can understand what emotion or feeling you will have when you have it – you can focus on reaching for that feeling rather than reaching for the thing since it is the feeling you want, not the thing. You just thought it was the thing that allowed you to feel this way. You were using this thing like a carrot in front of you to elicit that feeling response. You used the thing you want as your excuse to get connected and feel good (just the same way you used the thing you didn’t want as your excuse to feel bad). The real trick is to figure out how you want to feel, feel good first and then watch what shows up in that state of feeling good.

To figure out why you want what you want simply ask yourself what would having this thing (in this case, a better or healthier body) provide for you in your life that you don’t have already? What would having this body or health change in your life and how it would it be better than it is already?

Your first answer, as I mentioned earlier, will most likely be superficial. If so, ask yourself the question again. Ask yourself what having that (”that” being your last answer) provide for you in your life that you don’t have already? Continue doing this until you are inspired by your answer. When you are inspired by your answer you now have the real reason WHY you want what you want.

For example, let’s say you want to be 20 pounds leaner (rather than wanting to lose 20 pounds, which, the 20 pounds, is what you don’t want) and you ask yourself what being 20 pounds leaner would provide for you that you don’t have already. Let’s say your first answer is “confidence.” Are you moved by the idea of having more confidence? Probably not. That’s because confidence is fairly superficial. Now ask yourself what having confidence would do to improve the quality of your life? How would having confidence make your life different than it is now? You might say it would provide a better (or new) relationship. Since that is still superficial you would then ask what having a better (or new) relationship would provide for you that you don’t have already. You might say a sense of connection or love or purpose. Point is, you keep asking this until you get an answer that moves you. Chances are, when you get to an answer that inspires you, it will be for the feeling of love or joy or freedom or passion or empowerment or connection (something at this level of emotion, which is the highest vibrational frequency we operate at). You want what you want for one of these feelings.

Once you figure out what the feeling you want is it becomes your work now to practice feeling this way as often as possible. You can do this in a few ways. One is to find things that you already feel this way about and focus on those things as often as possible. The more and longer you are in this state the more change you elicit – and the better you feel more often. The other thing you can do is to try and work your thoughts surrounding your body to get to the same feeling place. Try to get to a place where you feel love or joy or empowerment or connection with your current body. When you do this, the change you ask for can easily show up. You’ve already asked for change from your initial contrast (your initial displeasure about where you are), it is now your job to let it happen. The less resistance you have (joy, love, etc. is the highest vibration, thus creating the least resistance) the easier it is for change to happen.

Since you want what you want for the feeling you think it would provide for you, why not just get to the feeling place first? It is in this state that you are lead to inspiring action, that you are more invested in your vision and your body works at it’s optimal best. Not to mention, what you want exists at this level of energetic frequency. When you practice being at this frequency your body will have an easier chance to bring forth things that resonate at this frequency, which will be the change you were initially looking for. But at this point, it will just be icing on the cake.

Lastly, when you learn why you really want what you want (for the feeling of love or joy or freedom, etc.) you will no longer be focusing on what you don’t want and all your actions at this point will be because of those good feelings and not so you change something external because you think it is causing you to feel bad.

You want what you want to feel better, why not feel better first.

When almost everyone comes to my facility, whether it is for personal training, Muscle Activation Techniques or coaching, I ask them what they hope to take away from the experience – what do they hope to achieve from our time together. I would say about 95% (and that’s being a bit generous) of the people tell me what they DON’T want. They tell me they hope to lose their belly or love handles. They tell me they want to lose 20 pounds or get rid of fat. They tell me they want to get rid of pain or soreness. They tell me they want to stop feeling bad about something or stop doing something they think is unhealthy (over-eating, smoking, etc.). What no one ever tells me right off the bat is what they DO want. They all tell me where they don’t want to be.

Well, if you don’t know where you are going how can you get anywhere specific? It’s hard to get away from something you have your eyes set on. If you are focused on what you don’t want you tend to get more of what you don’t want simply by the fact that you get what you focus on and you don’t know where you are going. It’s like going to a travel agent and after they ask you where you want to go you say “not here!” It’s hard for them to direct you if you have no destination in mind. The same goes for your body – if you don’t know where your hard work is going to be applied, how would your body know what to do with the stimulus?

So, if you are working out to get rid of what you don’t like or you are doing some sort of therapy or treatment to get rid of pain or you are doing some coaching to fix a problem, chances are you won’t get too far. Although it is not too hard to make a shift in how you approach this.

Take a moment to ask yourself what it is you hope to achieve from any endeavor you may be involved in regarding your health and your body. Chances are you are hoping to change where you are – you will most likely be focused on what you don’t want. The easiest way to change this is to ask yourself where you would be if you had that. For example, if you want to get rid of your love handles or lose your belly fat, where will you be when you lost those? What would you look like if you lost your love handles or belly fat? If you want to lose 20 pounds where would you be or what you would look like (feel like) if you lost 20 pounds? What do you want as the end result? Losing 20 pounds or getting rid of pain is not an end goal it’s just getting away from where you are. If you were no longer there, where would you be?

Don’t worry if you can’t answer this at first. Most people are so used to focusing on what they don’t want that they have a hard time figuring what they do want. And if you can’t do this after giving it some serious thought, then you might feel too negative about where you are. When you are really feeling bad about where you are it might be too difficult to get a read on what you want – seeing what you want from a really bad place is just too far of a reach. If this is the case, take some time to make peace with where you are. Try to find some way of easing up about where you are. When you feel better your vision as to what you DO want will be more accessible. The better you feel about where you are the easier it will be to see what you want as an end result.

Setting your sights on a positive end goal can be the difference between success and failure. It can also be the difference between a long road of work or a short road doing something you are inspired to do. When you have something in front of you that is exciting, not only is your body chemically and energetically in a better state for change to happen, but you will be pulled into action that supports your vision as opposed to being pushed to do something so you don’t end up where you don’t want to be.

One of the reasons I think most people get caught up in this way of thinking is because complaining and talking about what we don’t want or what is wrong with things dominates our conversations. We hear it from everywhere and everyone. You can’t turn on the radio or tv without someone talking a problem. It’s rare that two people share all the great stuff going on their life. They most likely spend time talking about what is not working – complaining. Next time you are either involved in a conversation or you hear someone near you talking, try to pay attention to what is talked about. There is a very good chance that you will hear some complaining. And it might be coming from you.

If you catch yourself complaining try to turn the conversation from a problem discussion into a solution discussion. From every problem comes a solution. Even if you don’t have a solution, try to find a better way to talk about “what is” or “what was.” Lead your conversation in the direction of a solution. You can also do this if someone you are talking to is complaining. Ask them: “so, now what?”

The same goes for your body. Pay attention to how you dominantly think and talk about your body and health. Do you complain about “what is” and how things “have been?” If so, it’s time to start talking about “what’s next.” Where you have been has helped you to determine where you want to be. Quit using where you are as your excuse to keep you from where you want to be.

What is it that you are thinking about in regard to your body that you are using as your excuse to feel bad? Confused? Most people think they feel the way they do because of what they are looking at. But what really has one feeling negative emotion has more to do with HOW they are looking at what they are looking at (in this case, their body) than anything else.

So, if what you are looking at in regard to your body has you feeling bad – meaning, you are looking at your body differently than your higher self (higher center, inner being, control center, etc.) looks at your body – then you are using your body as your excuse to feel bad. You have a choice in how you interpret your body. Since most people don’t know they do have a choice they get stuck in thinking that it is their body that causes them to feel bad, which is why people go to such great lengths to try and change their body.

If you can acknowledge that your emotions are caused by your point of focus – your thoughts and perspectives about a subject – then you can see that when you feel bad for more than a few moments (a few moments should be enough to help you understand and establish the fact you have developed a preference) you are using what you are focusing on as yoru excuse to feel bad by virtue of the WAY you are focusing on it.

So, what is it about your body that you are focused on in a way that has you feeling bad? What are you using in regard to your body as your excuse to feel bad right now? You have a choice to feel differently by thinking about your subject differently.

When you start to take responsibility for how you feel, you put your life back in your hands. By virtue of the fact that you have a choice as to how you think about anything – including your body and your health – you change things from the inside out. And not only do you put your own life back your hands but you put your body and health back in your hands. Find a slightly better way to look at your body and you change how your body will respond. From that slightly new perspective you can reach for an even better one and continue to not only feel better but put your body in a place to thrive even more. The better you feel, the better your body thrives. Quit using your body as your excuse to feel bad, thus keeping yourself where you are.